Zen and the Art of Getting Shit Done, AKA "Peaceful Productivity," My Mantra for a More Harmonious Path to Success

Welcome back, masterful listeners. This is episode three. If you're just joining for the first time, welcome. And if you're coming back because you liked the other ones, yay! Great. I'm just so glad and grateful to be sharing and really having conversations through storytelling and exercises the power of listening. But not just listening, masterful listening, right? That just means you're really listening because you want to, because you have the space to listen to, and you actually really care about what the other person is saying by paying attention to their words rather than what a lot of us do, uh, which is waiting for our turn to speak

or respond or just being distracted, right? It happens to the best of us, and yet here we are. So what are we gonna do today? Today's topic is very near and dear to my heart. I've been using this phrase, peaceful productivity, for a really, really long time. I think I first came up with it, gosh, it was sometime in my 20s, and I'm in my late 30s now. It was probably about a decade ago. And I was having these experiences where both personally and just by speaking to a lot of individuals within my corporate life, my professional life, but also just in the various coach trainings

I was doing and leadership programs, I realized, man, like for me to actually be happy and fulfilled, I really like being productive and I really like feeling peaceful and happy. You know, what a concept, right? I feel like typically people are either focused on, I gotta get things done, I gotta achieve, I gotta do, or I just wanna feel good and be all these things. And the truth is, my coaching modality that I study is called co-active. The whole meaning of co-active is that it's the being and the doing. The active is the doing and the co is the being. Who are you being and what

are you doing? As a coach, whenever someone hires me, I ask them, What do you want? If in six months the most incredible thing could happen, your dream came true. Tell me, what are you doing? What is the thing? And also, how are you feeling? How's your being? Because we usually forget one or the other. And the truth is, uh for me, I actually just can't sit around on a beach all day doing nothing. I'd probably not actually be happiest than, I mean, sometimes I definitely like to just focus on the feeling, right? I always say I'm kind of mid-woo. There's a lot of um, well,

this is happening everywhere, but I find that in my experience, being very involved within a variety of different spiritual communities here in Northern California, which by the way, I'm all about. Those who know a little bit more about me know I'm a very deep empath feeler psychic. I've had these abilities my whole life. I've only, in the last couple of years, really kind of learned how to use the tools, right? And I mean, I'm a doer, all right? I like to be productive. I'm also a procrastinator, and we'll talk about that a little bit later and probably in another episode or maybe a few. A lot

of us love to be productive, but we procrastinate, and yet what's better than being peaceful and productive? Honestly, not a lot to me. So the idea here is how do we find some balance of the being and the doing, the peace, the productivity. It's a big thing, right? But I gotta tell you, after coaching hundreds of people and interviewing hundreds of people all over the world, I found that ultimately, more than most humans, at least who I've met in this, I'd say 15 years of doing research, most people just want some peace. You know, I once actually uh had a boss tell me when I was

in one of my corporate jobs, I was just always saying, God, I just I hate sitting at this desk. And she kind of very gently looked at me and said, Savet, do you know how many people would kill to sit at a desk? And I just thought, yeah, even like my parents, right? They dreamed of having really nice jobs and maybe nice offices to work in. And I thought, man, it's so true. I have been more depressed and anxious on a beach than I was in an office. So it's all relative. Some people find peace after a long day of hard work when they can just

acknowledge, wow, that was cool. And, you know, I don't know, take a bath. Um, some people have an idea of what productivity looks like that looks completely different than yours. The point is, and I always say, you got to find your system. Whatever your idea of peaceful productivity means, that is a really cool way to live. And at this point, it's very ingrained in what I do, and it is very tied to listening. So, first I'm gonna make that connection, and then as you know, or maybe you don't, but now you will, the way that this podcast works is I'm gonna tell a story, and I'm

gonna tell a story about peaceful productivity and how listening to myself has helped me find peaceful productivity in such amazing ways recently that I now more than ever believe this is possible. And the first way to get to where you're going is you gotta first believe it's possible, right? I'm gonna keep saying that. It's one of my kind of mantras that I really believe in, especially as a coach. So, okay, let's see. I'm gonna ask you to first of all check in with yourself right now. Do you have the time to listen? And are you genuinely curious about this subject? Because, as I said in the

description of this podcast, my intention is to make this experience the first ever listening school that you actually want to go to. Let's learn because we're really curious, right? It's way more fun to learn something if we actually care about it. In fact, I can't really learn any other way. That's why I'm the kind of person that if I start a book and within the first page, I'm not in it, I don't keep going. Although, you know, there's obviously positives and negatives to that. Point is, here's how I want you to listen to this story. And uh do your best, try this on. So if you've

been here for a few episodes, I've gone over a few tools. I'm not gonna do that again, but I'm just gonna invite you to listen at what I call masterful listening. And that is the idea that you are first actually paying attention to my words, what I'm saying, and you're also paying attention to what I'm not saying. You're paying attention to how I'm speaking, where my voice changes, uh, where you sense emotion, you're feeling my energy. All right. This is very, very important because again, uh, speaking is actually proven to be the least effective form of communication. Okay, so first, make sure you're in a place

where you can even hear me. Second of all, check in if you're really curious, genuinely, about this idea of peaceful productivity and learning how to listen. Because the truth is, uh, it is way more fun and easy to listen if you actually care about what the other person is saying. And, you know, sometimes it's just the wrong time. I always say, if you like to have something on in the background, this is not that podcast. This is a place you come when you want to hear a really epic story. Yeah, I can pretty much promise they're all pretty cool, at least in my opinion, if you

listen and you don't find them as interesting. That's the other cool thing. You can choose not to listen anymore. And that actually doesn't just apply to this podcast. I would rather someone say to me, Hey, actually, Svet, I don't really want to hear this story because I'm busy, I actually can't focus right now, or I don't even really find it interesting, then pretend to listen. Oh, seriously, right? Uh, that's actually a little um not trick or tool, something I've been doing that's really worked for me is if someone is trying to talk to me and I can feel, because typically I always want to listen, but

I could feel it's actually super important. Something they're saying is really profound, you know, and I know that I'm rushed or a little stressed or a little distracted, I'll just say, hey, listen, I really want to hear this, I really care about you. And right now, I'm just not in a place where I can listen. Well, can we do this at 5 p.m. or whatever? People always appreciate it. So just remember simplicity, honesty, just tell someone where you're at and trust that if someone is actually a friend, a colleague, someone you most likely respect, they're gonna appreciate that. It sucks for me. One of my biggest

triggers is still when I'm sharing something deep and someone just interrupts me or gets distracted because it makes me feel like they don't care. I've had to do a lot of work around that one because sometimes I interrupt people, right? So I'll also design that. First of all, if anyone calls me these days and wants to talk, I'll say, Do you want Svet the friend or Svet the coach? How do you need me to listen? Truly, because they're very, very different. So just remember that being super clear about what you're doing, what you can do, and asking someone what they need specifically is super important because

sometimes friends just want to shoot the shit, right? I've been on the phone with one of my best friends for hours, just cleaning our house. That's very different than if I'm, you know, getting a phone call about a really profound moment in someone's life, and then I keep getting distracted and they can feel it. All right. So listen at level mastery, pay attention, and then check in if you have some genuine curiosity and notice any main takeaways. Like, what do you really notice in this story? Don't think about it while I'm talking. Just kind of see if anything really goes, hmm, wow, that's really that's a

powerful moment. Okay. And then at the end, I'm gonna check in and I'm gonna give you a little homework assignment for before the next episode, how you can keep practicing. Because again, practice, practice, practice, practice, right? As a coach, I could have the most epic session. I'll tell you an amazing story. You might get inspired. That's great. And try this on, see how it affects your relationship, see how it affects your life. Take what resonates, leave the rest, right? Yeah. Okay. So

last week I was throwing a graduation party for a program I just finished at Stanford about compassion. And I was really excited for a few reasons. First of all, my uh mentor in the program, an incredible woman. She's the executive director of this C care program at Stanford. She was an incredible facilitator, which for me, I have to say, is very rare because as a facilitator, I have pretty high standards for frankly how I lead classes, right? So I'm always really paying attention to what facilitators are doing really well because I want to learn from them. I also notice all the places where I'm a little

more, I'm gonna say critical, just because I think my standards are a little bit higher. And I just own that. This woman was by far the most incredible mentor, a masterful facilitator. So I was so excited because she was gonna come to this graduation party, as were some other participants of the program, all of which, I mean, or all of whom, whatever is correct, um, I really, really, really, really respected. So I knew that by Friday evening, I had to have my home in great shape for a gathering. Uh, beauty, aesthetics, that's always important to me. That's been that way my whole life, but also creating

a nice experience, really important. And I moved about a month ago. And I moved in a very stressful time of my life where because I was sick and a bunch of other shit was happening, I mean, I was living in a house that I was joking, it looked like I was in college having a breakdown. I mean, it was messy. Like I'm not a I'm I'm not like a grimy person when things get kind of when my house is in bad shape, but I'm messy. So like I'll throw things around. It was so horrible, but I knew it was in that state. And so I gave

myself weeks to clean it up, get it ready. And then it kept getting pushed and pushed and pushed. And I want to say also, this time I wasn't procrastinating because I was like lazy or or kind of I truly was doing urgent things. I was taking care of the stuff that had to be done. And so finally, it's this week. My party's on Friday, and it's like Monday. And I'm like, that's cool. I still have, you know, four days. But then every day things kept coming up. Bottom line, it it is Thursday night, 9 p.m. My party is Friday at four the next day. So I

have less than 24 hours. I obviously need to sleep, I have work to do. And I was just like sitting on my balcony, smoking a cigarette. It was one of those moments, and I'm like, how am I gonna actually humanly do this? My place was in even worse shape than it had been. It literally felt, in some way, impossible to do a month's worth of cleaning in I counted about six hours. I actually had. Excuse me. So I kind of put my coach hat on because some part of me also knew no matter what, there is no way I'm gonna have these people show up at

my house and it's gonna look like this. So I knew I had to get it done. It was just a question of how was I gonna get it done? Which is where I say it's really important in life to have mantras, things that you live by. And I'm gonna just mention a few of mine because they all tie together. The first one, I'd say right now in first place, they sometimes switch around, is a no, is a yes to something better, which means for me that any time that something doesn't go as I wanted or imagined, I know there's some better reason. It could also be

because I'm always looking for something better. And I always say you're gonna look for what you find. So if you're gonna be looking for things to go wrong, you'll definitely find them. If you're looking for lessons, opportunities, growth, you'll find that as well. So that's the first mantra. Second mantra is I am exactly perfectly on time. Honestly, I think the thing in this life that I don't love using the word hate, but closest to that, that I just is being rushed. I always joked. I speak Russian, I rush a lot of things. I am a fast talker, slow walker. I really dislike that feeling of like

feeling like I'm late or behind. And I gotta say, you know, as a 38-year-old Eastern European single woman, uh, a lot of people think I'm behind in all kinds of things, like getting married and having kids, right? This whole idea in society that we have to be on someone else's time frame, that frustrates me. And actually feeling like I'm in a rush, that's when I start dropping shit, spilling shit, knocking shit over. You know what I mean? Like, so I'm constantly reminding myself that I'm exactly perfectly on time, a nosy s to something better, and then peaceful productivity. So as I'm sitting there, I'm thinking, okay,

what is actually gonna be the best strategy for me where I'm at? It's like I had to accept, all right, this was a pivot, right? I talked about pivots last time. This was not the way I thought this was gonna go. And here I was. So when you fight with reality, you always lose. I wasn't gonna fight it. I needed a plan. And so what did I do? I listened. I listened to myself. I got really clear. I took a few deep breaths. And I also listened to all the experience before. And I knew that what I didn't want is to be stressed out and running

towards this party in this state of like, oh my God, I'm late. Oh my God, why did I do it? Oh, I suck. Because that's what I did my whole life, right? I was just kind of punching myself in the face as I'm already struggling. Like that just didn't work. So then I thought, okay, what do I need? I need to sleep. I was so tired. I'd stayed up the night before till three in the morning, which I haven't done in years yet. It was a very exceptional evening where I was feeling like that was the right thing to do. But I'd woken up the next

day at eight, right? So I didn't get enough sleep, which to me is the first thing that I know I need to do in order to do anything else in life. The first question I always ask anyone who comes to me as a coach is tell me about your sleep. Because if someone's not sleeping as much as they need to feel healthy, literally their brain cannot function. This is physiological and it's emotional and it's mental. So I thought, okay, I need to go to bed like right now. I need to wake up at five in the morning, and then I'm gonna have three hours between my

first class that I teach, and then after that class, I'm gonna have like four more hours, which means I'm gonna have like seven hours total. And in that time, if I rest well and I click into my like power, energy, boss mode, I can do anything. Cool. That was my plan. So here's the honestly, I think this is the most profound thing. I actually went to sleep and I actually got out of my bed at five. I did not want to. It was cold and it was dark. And I committed. I listened to myself because I knew at this point there was no more procrastination. Procrastination

is actually a topic I'm gonna talk about in another episode. But the point is uh we procrastinate for different reasons, right? Some of us out of fear, oh my God, am I gonna do it? Others, like me, actually, sometimes I procrastinate because as I'm doing nothing, I'm thinking. Thinking, reflecting is doing something. So I sometimes need all that time because once I click in, boom, it's like that article or that homework assignment or that paper you keep putting off. But once you actually do it, you're like, oh my gosh, that wasn't that hard, right? Has anyone had that experience? Or like calling a customer service line

at, I don't know, Verizon. I never want to do that. Sometimes I just do it and I'm like, all right, why didn't I just do it two weeks ago? All right, we don't have to keep asking why, right? We can just realize, okay, this is what's happening. And that's what I did. I listened to myself. I decided, ooh, I know what I need most. In fact, this is not a nice to have, it's a must have, I always say. I need mental health. I need to take care of my mind, my body, and then I'm gonna do it. So not only did I wake up at

five, but then what I did was I didn't do what I originally thought. All right, and then I'm gonna just like do all this cleaning. I actually did what I know is best for me because I've listened to myself internally enough to know that what I need to get into my power mode is I need to start my day slow, meaning two hours. I actually have my calendar, and every day I did it as a recurring um meeting invite. It says, slow mornings, baby. And I have 7 to 10 a.m. blocked off. Because honestly, in a perfect world, and this is happening a lot more these

days. I do that. I wake up at seven, and for those three hours, I slowly shower, I listen to some music. Often I sit on my couch for like an hour and paint something because my hat company rad hats for rad humans. I've been painting hats. I started painting shoes. Point is that is my time to I like say like defrost to like start to like get that engine revved up. Kind of like if you go out, it's super cold, and you know, you need to warm your car up a bit because it's actually not really good for your car to just go from zero to

driving it when it's been freezing all night. It's the same thing. I function. Better when I have a longer runway. That's not possible every day. And yet I try to give myself at least an hour, if not up to three. That's just what I prefer. I've chosen to build a life that way because I know it works best for me. I am extremely fast and effective sometimes. But in order for me to do that, I must rest. Honestly, more than most people I know, because I think my brain works so fast when it does that I just need more time to recover, right? Any athletes out

there might understand that, right? Muscles have to recover as well. So the fact that actually I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna do any of this cleaning. I'm still tired. I'm still waking up. I'm gonna just like peacefully start my day. And then, ironically enough, because this is how life works, and I'm not surprised, the class I was teaching that day, I teach for a platform called Hone. It's amazing. I teach a variety of classes, all different topics. Again, from coaching skills to prioritization, delegation, conflict resolution. One of the classes is called Own Your Day. And I was like, oh my gosh, who needs

this class right now? Me, the facilitator. And I just had this feeling because I listened again to the voice in me who wasn't trying to sabotage me, but who was actually helping me. We all have this internal crew, I'm gonna call it. And I'm gonna talk about this again in another episode and do a deep dive. But just for now, the idea is we all have different parts. Uh, this is, you know, parts work. It's internal family systems. If you're interested in the psychological sort of aspect of it, go look it up. Uh, a lot of therapists use this work in order to help people realize

that they are a variety of parts. I call it the kaleidoscope of humanity. Like we just have a lot of parts of us, and sometimes we're listening to the wrong part without even realizing it. So often when we're stressed, when we're not peacefully productive, but we're productive because we're uh stressing the fuck out about the fact that like we're late on a project, right? That's not peaceful, that's stressful. When we're in that zone, the voice that comes in is like this saboteur inner critic that's like, oh, I can't believe you did this again. Like I definitely, yeah, honestly, I didn't even have that. I have retrained

that voice so bad that no part of me was like, why did you leave it to the last minute? Because I knew why I left it. I literally felt like I had no choice. Instead, the voice that I chose to hear in my head was like, oh, this is great. You're gonna do this class, you're gonna teach it, you're gonna learn while you're teaching it. And then as soon as it's over, you're just gonna start. Because for me as a coach, I know that the thing that actually gets me to do any work I've been putting off is to put my butt in the chair. It's

just getting into that chair, right? So I said, I'm gonna do that. I finished my class. It was amazing. I even shared this personal experience of choosing to sleep and take care of myself in order to own my day. And as soon as it was over, I started. And I, for the next three hours, moved at a pace that I swear most human beings would probably say isn't possible. Because frankly, most human beings probably couldn't do that. And I clicked into this almost, I don't even know what to call it, uh and whatever. The word that came to me was not genius, but that's not really

the word. The point is, I clicked into a sort of energy that, you know, when you hear that uh mothers get filled with so much adrenaline if they have to save their baby that they'll like lift a car. It was sort of like that. I just sort of clicked into this warrior energy, but it was a loving warrior. It was like this self-belief of you did your self-care, you did your class, now you're gonna do this. And let me tell you guys, I fucking did it. I mean, I literally walked around at about four and thought, holy shit, this is incredible. And wow, that's what peaceful

productivity is. Because the thing is, as I was moving fast and efficient, I wasn't in a rush. I actually kept noticing that I set this intention that you're gonna do this and enjoy it. Because the last thing I wanted to do was go into this evening and feel tired and stressed, right? So the other thing that was awesome, and this is what else I found that helps with peaceful productivity is listening to the part of yourself that says, hmm, I really need some help. Like I'm behind schedule. Who can I ask for help? And then ask for help and be okay if you get turned down

and be okay if they say yes. So receiving help, right? Those are whole other things. Most of us don't ask for help. A lot of us are people pleasers. We want to do things for other people. We're not as good as, or excuse me, at asking for help for us, someone like me. I'm a giver, I'm a coach. My whole life is I support people. It's actually not easy for me to ask for help because typically I really can do most things on my own. And I needed help. I still needed food. And I figured out, okay, I'm gonna ask a friend if she can pick

up the food. She wasn't able to. Cool, zero offense. Okay, I'm gonna order food. I don't have time to get it. And when the food arrived, it was kind of that time where I was like, ah, now I still have to shower, but peaceful productivity. And then one of the guests arrived early, and I would have never done this before. And I said, Hey, would you mind? All the food came. Could you just like put it together? And as my other friend arrived, they just did it and they were happy. They were in the kitchen, they were sharing stories, they seemed to really enjoy this time

to connect. They seem to enjoy the time of actually helping, right? I always say that with peaceful productivity, we typically might have to delegate or ask for help. But the cool thing is, when you ask for help, not only do you get help, you actually help other people feel like they're of service to you. That is a gift. That is why I love when people ask me for help. Because when I can actually help them, I feel great. And if I can't, and I'm honest, I mean anyone I'd really actually want in my life wouldn't get mad at me. They'd appreciate, okay, if you actually can't

do something, just tell me. I actually don't want someone to agree to do something and then stress out doing it. Because as someone who doesn't like that experience, I don't want to put that on someone, right? I don't want the cost of my peaceful productivity to come at the expense of someone else's stress. So the point of this story is not even about the party, right? Because the truth is I also listened to myself to know that actually nobody would judge me. We just graduated a program about compassion. None of these human beings were gonna judge me. It was about me. And I listened to myself

enough to know that you know what? I'm not even gonna judge me because first of all, I'm gonna do my best. Second of all, it's gonna be good enough. And third, at the end of the day, most of the time that I was worried about other people's judgment, it was actually about myself. I've been the harshest critic of myself my whole life. And I think it was when I remember this one moment, it was in Puerto Rico where I've dreamed of going my whole life. And I ended up there because I basically ran away from San Francisco at a time that I was so burned out

and in a in a rough state mentally that I thought, okay, well, if I went to the beach and I, you know, was in a place I wanted to go, I'd feel better. And I was sitting on that beach and I was shaking from anxiety, and I was so sad and so scared. And I thought, wow, yeah, you could feel worse on a beach because wherever you go, there you are, right? Running away from ourselves doesn't help us. But running towards yourself, but lovingly and listening to what is really gonna help me to break that habit of what we've been doing our whole lives. The old

me would have stayed up all night till as long as I could to the point where I can't even see straight. Oh, I've had nights like that. And then I would have been even more tired in the morning, and I wouldn't have had that time to wake up early enough to have three hours. And then I would have never spent those three hours defrosting. I would have gotten to work and that wouldn't have clicked me into that warrior mode. So this was honestly one of the most profound days of my life, not only because I got to spend time with some of the most incredible human

beings, but because not only did I achieve my goal, I did it in literally, I don't know, 300% less time than I thought. I wasn't stressed. And I was proud of myself because I showed up as a being who I liked and I was doing some pretty crazy, cool, uh, wild stuff that didn't even seem possible. Anything is possible when you believe it's possible. It is absolutely possible to find peaceful productivity if you listen to the part of you that's actually your higher self, the loving part of you. So, how to tap into that? Usually what I do is literally before making any decision about what

to do regarding anything that seems like it's important, I literally stop,

I breathe a few times and I say, Hey, okay. So I talk to that part, I call her right now. I just renamed the whole crew. I do this, it's very powerful. Again, we're gonna dive into some of these things um another time, but the point is when you give a name to these different parts of yourself, literally, it's almost like you can imagine them outside of you. And it's actually very helpful because instead of thinking, oh, I'm this, no, I have a part of me that's this, and I have a part of me that is my wise, loving, higher self. And when I asked her,

I think her name is Trinity now, but I gotta double check. I said, What's the best thing I could do to achieve this goal, but feel good? And she said, go to sleep. So I did, even though it was very counterintuitive. So that's my story. I really believe in peaceful productivity. Anytime I say that to people, they love that term. Again, I'm a fan of mantras and it really, really, really works. That's my sort of mid-woo approach, right? I really don't want to do nothing and not work in life. I think actually the reason most people say that, like, oh, I just want to retire, I

don't want to do work, is because they don't love their work. I love my work. I am blessed to say that. And I worked my ass off to get to the point where I love my work. And it doesn't mean that I don't need to rest a ton. I wouldn't love my work, even if it's my favorite work, if I felt like I had to do it all the time and didn't get that peaceful part. And the peaceful part is never as yummy if I don't feel like, yeah, but I'm doing things that I care about, right? Yeah. So how was that? What was it like

to listen to the words, the feeling? Like, what were the main takeaways for you? Sometimes it's really helpful to also write this stuff down. I always say we build neural pathways in our brain when we put pen to paper. That's actually another really great listening activity. In fact, that's what I invite you to do this week. First, keep practicing all the tools, right? Everything is building. As I said, every episode kind of is a continued story. So masterful listening means you're listening actually to the words. Tell someone if you can't do it right then. Practice that. Listen to energy, listen to look at people's faces. Listen

to if they're sighing, if you can see them, are they crossing their arms? Everything is communication if you're paying attention. And also take some notes, write some things down. If you notice something about what it's like to listen, if you notice something about what it's like to feel heard, anything that has to do with listening in your view this week, just jot it down. Extra bonus. Get a little notebook as your masterful listening notebook and take notes in there. It's always so cool to reflect back and be like, oh yeah, that was super cool. I learned that. Um, I find actually that when I listen by

taking notes, for me, that's always actually helped. So I've been doodling my whole life and writing things down because actually that's how my brain takes information in better. And some of the research I've been looking at recently says that the most effective way to actually learn is to both uh listen to something and read it at the same time. So that's also something that I wanted to note right now. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for caring enough about yourself and the people in your life and the world to focus a little bit on listening, right? The one skill I really feel like we do

not learn until now. And if you find this useful, if you think this is helping you, if you have people in your life that you want to have deeper relationships with, share and subscribe, right? Yeah, really. I want this to end up with the people who really genuinely understand how important it is for us to listen to each other because we genuinely want to, because we care. I think people are inherently good, and I think if we listened to each other more, our world would not be where it is today. So, with that, I'll see you next time. Very special episode coming up. It's gonna be

my first interview. I hope to see you then.